1. You will likely be disappointed when you see the "Laker Girls" perform anywhere other than an NBA game.
2. There is something called a "Lunchable" in my refrigerator. This may be a sign of the apocalypse.
3. When the highlight of your work day is waiting for the construction crew across the street to blow stuff up at 4:00 every day, it may be time to work on your resume.
4. Low-fat Pop Tarts are just as satisfying as the real thing.
5. When you're taking someone on their first flight, ask her to remove her rings before she holds your hand.
6. I have been drunk and hungry enough to eat at White Castle, and to eat at Skyline, but never in the same night. A friend of mine did this Saturday night; I am both impressed and mortified. At least he dropped me off before the Skyline visit.
7. I haven't been able to watch an entire NBA game in years, but can't stop reading about Thursday's draft.
8. I pay way too much for cable TV.
9. It has been far too long since I have seen Twinkie sing karaoke.
10. I don't think it's fair that one of the alcoholism questions is "Do you drink alone?" I live alone; I drink. The last time I invited a stranger in for a Scotch I woke up handcuffed to my dresser and wearing mascara. Is that better, Dr. Smarty Pants??
11. Parts of that last story aren't true. I don't drink Scotch.
12. Sometimes nothing hits the spot like a thing of sushi.
13. It is nice to be wanted.